It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this beer tastes like vomit already
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
