walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
