god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
