69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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