I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
