i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
