I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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