What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
