i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
