I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
