she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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