3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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