I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
