I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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