does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
