the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
