Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He passed out mid-signature
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
