Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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