I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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