Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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