we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
