You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
