He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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