had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
