Your tits are I can't wait for
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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