i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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