My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
