we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
