I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
