If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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