when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
