Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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