I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
