Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
