Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
