i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize