Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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