This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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