I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
