Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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