My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
