I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
