Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
