whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
