I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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