tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well I just put wine in my tea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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