Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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