He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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