I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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