My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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